Stress Build Up

I don't like how I start feeling stressed just before I go for my runs. I'm not entirely sure where this anxiety is coming from, perhaps a feeling that I'm going to fail at it which is ridiculous since the intervals are really so simple. I feel like it is a stretch at times to complete an interval, but I always seem to do so. But still, I find myself creating excuses for why I can't go for the run this night or that. For example, I keep looking out the window and thinking, "If it rains, then I can't go for my run." Why not? It's just a little rain and I'll only be out there for 30 minutes. Sure I'll be cold, but I'll also be sweating up a storm and may not notice the cold. And this weekend I'll be at my mom's house, so of course I can't go for my Saturday run. Why not? Sure I can't go on my usual route, but I can go over to the high school and use their track. It's actually better because there aren't any hills there.

I think I'm just working through the past failures. I saw Jillian Michaels on a talk show once talking about why she's so mean to the people on Biggest Loser. She said that all these people have never found success in their exercise lives. When they get near the point where they previously failed, they start to back out on themselves. This is when she starts yelling. She wants them to be more afraid of her than the previous failure. They need to push past that point where they'd failed before and experience success. Once they do that, and do it over and over, they will start to believe in themselves again. But until they do, she feels like she needs to yell, scream, and push push push.

I still keep getting myself out there doing the runs, even forcing myself to go back after the sore knee issue, and I'm afraid that one day, I'll talk myself out of running, and won't come back to it. So I'm trying hard to not make excuses, and to just get out there and do it. Perhaps if I don't, Jillian Michaels will find me . . . AHHH!